A bit of psychology...

EROS vs THANATOS

Uncle Freud must really be smiling in his grave today knowing what he stated with authority years and years ago is still haunting the descendents of those who condemned and wrote him off as 'inflammatory' or 'obscene' or even 'blasphemous'. Today, as I learnt about the theoretical roots of aggression and calm, I realized what a thin rope it is we walk and how easy it is to cross over to wild rage from a poised sanguinity.

Freud’s psycho-analysis which is based on instincts and two primary principles of sex and aggression being the reasons for every action and reaction by us humans (I have new respect for Uncle Freud who understood the two basic things which drive us all more than a generation ago). While there are many types of instincts, those which stand out and are considered the most important are two – Eros and Thanatos. Simply stated, Eros are what we better know as Life instincts and Thanatos are the Death instincts. Those who have more of life instincts are more composed, cheerful, laid back and relaxed while the death instinct people are those who have that aggressive streak in them. They are easily excitable, more often than not emotionally unstable and have an inclination towards violence. Normal are those who can successfully strike a balance between the two are the happiest as they are considered normal.

When I heard this explanation, I thought to myself happily that I am rather cheerful, laid back bordering on lazy and don’t get easily angry, but not discarding those few occasions when I do lose my temper, it’s nothing short of uncontrollable rage. So, I safely classified myself as compound of the two. However, it soon struck me that maintaining a balance between the two is walking a tight rope which stands precariously over a deep gorge. That is when my mind started galloping to places where no reign ever holds it down. I got to thinking how easy it is to cross over from peaceful sanity into horrifying insanity which pushes me into unimaginable corners of that pitch darkness where I go blind with wrath. How love which turns into passion soon transforms into a frenzy or a minor altercation becomes a war. How spiteful and hurtful I get and so easily or those unexplained emotional outbursts.

That is when I realized that aggression is very much a part of my being and is as inseparable as the need to be happy, sometimes much more than even that. I had heard long ago from a non-believer friend of mine that the Old Testament has an unknown version of the Original Sin in a phrase which indicates that when God created Adam and Eve, he made Lucifer, erstwhile an angel in his Kingdom and God’s favourite too, the in-charge of the Garden of Eden. However, after a few days, Lucifer started feeling left out and got bitter and bitter with every passing day until his bitterness turned into ire and he decided to take revenge on God. So, he started sending Adam out all day while he and Eve would consummate the same time that she was with Adam too. When God came to know of this, he punished Eve for her sins by giving her painful labour and menstrual cramps among other things and threw Lucifer out of his kingdom. When Eve had a child, it was half Adam’s and half Lucifer’s which gives all the human beings an evil side along with the good side.

Now, I know that coming from a non-believer this theory could just be a fib. But I do believe that we all have two sides within us, the two people inside who are dramatically different from each other are always at a contradiction. However, it is when a person who hosts these two entities within himself manages to ensure that peace exists despite the contradiction, the things remain in control.

Thanatos or any sort of negative instinct of emotion cannot be controlled by repressing it. Repression just makes things accumulate to pave way for them to come out all together with vengeance at the smallest trigger. The key is in finding a solution to that negativity, be it in changing focus to something humorous, or talking to a friend or a relative to get it out or just channelising it in a constructive direction. Apparently we are all born with a certain amount of energy which cannot be increased or decreased. So, what needs to be done is a change in the deployment pattern. Easier said than done? Well, it is and yet, it is not really that difficult.