My Bucket List

Borrowed the concept from the movie…thought can work for me too

Morbid, I hear you say? Need for achievement, standards, is what I see, so here goes, in no particular order:

(will keep adding J)

• Speak at least 12 languages to a reasonable proficiency
• Sky-diving
• Scuba-diving
• Dance like a dream
• Go to space
• Drive a Ferrari/Lamborghini/both
• Live in all seven continents for at least a month each
• See the seven wonders (past, present, future)
• Gift my parents a house
• Gift my sister a car
• Master psychology and another subject to the extent of being an encyclopedia on it
• Do something good and unconditional for a complete stranger to change his/her life
• Kill one person who really deserves to die
• Kiss Rafa
• Go swimming in a (clean) sea
• Fly a plane
• Sing on radio or TV where at least thousands of people can hear me
• Play guitar and at least 4 other instruments
• Get published as an expert on any subject
• Take tequila body shots in the place were tequila was discovered
• Take care of a child from infancy till forever, mine or otherwise and help him/her be a perfect person, for self and others
• Visit all religious places of all religions like 4-dhams, mecca, medina, Jerusalem etc etc
• Live in the world’s most expensive and lavish hotel
• Have an out of body surreal experience
• Go bald once
• Sail around the world
• Write a book
• Go on a long distance journey in a hot balloon
• Do hangliding
• Contact the dead once and speak to someone I loved and didn’t want to lose
• Build a farmhouse and rear lots of horses and dogs there
• Be at a war site right in the middle of action
• Visit the equator and the poles
• cross the International date line and gain/lose a day in a matter of minutes

Away, still not away

Well here we are, away, still not away

Apart, still connected somewhere

I may have seen this coming

But i chose to close my eyes

I could've avoided this situation

but let it carry on

I could've remain unfazed

but I let it bother me

I had to let it go

but I held on so tight

I could have chosen to breath

but I turned blue just waiting

And you, you were looking at my face

but you had close your eyes

You knew that I saw you pretending

and you still carried on

you saw my tears

but you called it the rain

you heard my prayers

but you chose to ignore them

you were near, yet so far away

I called your bluff and you still lied

you said you like my smile

but inside you wanted to see me cry

you saw I couldn't breath

but you still made me run

and then you said that we are connected

but we were away

I may have seen this coming

But i chose to close my eyes

So, here we are, away, still not away

Apart, still connected somewhere

Here we are, same as we used to be

but so different that it's hard to believe

Blue

It's nearly 3:30 am and I am a bit junked...I feel like writing. Not sure, though, what I want to write, but writing calms me down so i will, following my impulse and little bit of soul power.

The air was dense, filled with a peculiar stench, something like a concoction of rotting human flesh in flames and burning rubber. The flames were not the regular gleaming orange in colour, they were more of an eerie blue with traces of an enraged red. A silent wind wafted around engulfing her with little droplets of water which promised rain. Rain, which always liberated her and made her insane with joy – today, it had no impact. She sat amidst a pile of broken furniture and burning books, looking closely at a picture of them in a distance and holding tightly on to a small blue rug she had picked up from the market earlier that day. The fire around her danced menacingly, inching precariously close with every passing moment. But she sat motionless, indifferent to any danger, any life within her at all. The blaring sounds of sirens at a distance did not disturb her trance, as her life was falling apart all around her.

“Baby, come on, we have to get going right now. They’re coming for us,” he said while running into the room through the only opening the flames had left. Suddenly, as if woken from a deep slumber, she looked up to where he stood with his otherwise always in shape hair, messed up and doing their own little dance. “Baby, please, let’s go.” His clothes were tattered, stained with blood, she assumed some of it was his own and the rest…Their picture that she was staring at, suddenly burst into flames.

“I bought this blue rug today to put in the study. It would go beautifully with the blue curtains,” she said. He looked around, the study was being reduced to ashes right as she spoke. “…and I bought these books for you, they are collector’s edition, very rare.” He looked at her straight face void of any expression. “Honey, we really have to go. Can you not hear the sirens? They’re getting closer. We must leave now,” desperation in his voice was evident. “Just a minute more, please. Leave me with my life for just one moment.”

She looked at the rug on her lap and smelt it. “It smells so new.” He was getting anxious now and sat down next to her. “Look baby, the curtains are on fire, the books are all burnt. We can’t stay here any longer or we will die, or much worse, they will catch us. Do you know the things they do to people in prison?” “You remember the swing we put up in the front yard? How much we laughed that day after we first sat on it and it caved,” she said oblivious to his exasperation.

The sound of the sirens was getting louder now. “I beg you, honey, please, let’s go. We can’t be here any longer. Please, come with me,” he said. This time his voice quaked a little. She looked up and saw a lonely tear roll down his eye. “I can’t forget the day we bought this house. You were looking so handsome and I was such a mess. You remember we promised we would never leave each other. I picked out inexpensive but precious China from the market that day to celebrate our life and happiness. Oh, what a horrible meal we had cooked together and how we ate it outside, under the stars and talked all night long,” she smiled. He was now on his knees. “I am so sorry for what happened. But it’s done. Look at yourself. You are drenched in blood, your face is bleeding. Snap out of what could have been and face this reality. We have to leave now. Please don’t do this to me. Come on honey, let’s go.” The room was now filled with smoke as the rain came pouring down on the now roofless house, slowly killing the blue flames.

“We were to have two children and that’s why we picked up this house, away from the horrid city and perfect to raise children. You promised everything would be fine, you would fix everything,” she said, her eyes welling up a little. “You know how much I had to search to find these perfect blue curtains and rug and these books? The swing, our beautiful swing, you said you loved it. It is our anniversary today. You forgot like every year, didn’t you? Where are my flowers baby?”

“Honey, I love you, but please don’t do this to me.” He sat there looking at her beautiful face, now pale and sparkling eyes, now dead. The sirens were dangerously close now. “I made cake, black forest, your favourite; and there’s wine in the fridge. There’s also one more present for you on the dresser in our room. Did you see it?” She smiled, still clutching on to the rug. He stood there, weeping like a child now, looking at her empty eyes. “You know I love tulips, don’t you?” she asked, looking at him. A tear rolled down her eye, but even she wasn’t aware of it because of the rain.

“Honey, please…” he said with a quivering voice, filled with desperation. “Just a minute more, please, just one moment,” she said as the sirens drew closer.

SHARDS

The orb stains yellow,
With impudent pain,
That hurts where I walk,
In dreams across,
The diamond-studded sky,
Of shards strewn aground,
That twinkle overhead,
Embracing my gaze,
Across the breath of incense,
An interminable haze,
In an inverted world,
Through upturned eyes,
Their Gorgon sight,
In my repose, does recline.

--GS

Conquerer of elements

"Sail ahoy, sail ahoy," the sailors shout

As they look at me for approval

A nod I give them, a smile from my eyes

Closed they were then, as if to pray

and open again, to let them go

A swing to the port side, another to the starboard

and we set sail into the unending expanse of the salty grey

the horizon was never near, but it never was so approachable either

as the wind filled the main sale and the astern went up and down

the hull is a horse and as cowboys we race to the sun

The sea is not the kindest today

no dolphins to keep us company

no easy task for the captain

but with the helm in my hand

I scream to let the angry sea know

"we are here to conquer you today"

We gallop on our horse as the wind cheers us on

the sea looking strong, but pale, a little frightened may be

but intimidating nevertheless

one quick turn as the sea opens its mouth to gobble us down

and we are alee, strong against the wind

not afraid of the sea

going into the trap it laid for us

knowing a will survives longer than strength

up and down, side to side, the sea is merciless

The gunwale looks scared, almost ready to go under

but on trapeze we go, holding it calm, holding it above the menacing waters

"we take it head on, no fear," i scream

"no fear," they respond and up we are

all hands on deck, "no fear, no place for fear"

Off we go on to the windward side

one leap forward, one leap on the side and we beat the angry turbulence she drew for us

open sea now, as vast as we always imagined

and calm, contrary to our expectations

we look back to see the receding waves we conquered

Drenched in salty water, smiles on our face, we salute to this worthy opponent

"I am the elements, you are but a part of me," I scream to our nemesis

It doesn't look so intimidating anymore

a little sad and weary perhaps, looking at us with salty tears

we lay in the glory of our victory, feeling sorry for the sea

then we all look at each other, knowing what needs to be done

all lines are loosened, the sails set loose

we wait for a wave to help us in our endeavour

and then it came, a swelling beauty of water

capsize and in we go into the sea

a final insult to injury

"I make you, I break you and only if I want, can you take me"

the sea looks even sadder now

as we lay laughing in the waters

only to mount our horse again

but only when we feel the time is right